How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
