I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
