My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
