This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
