New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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