Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
