remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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