She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
