She's JV to your varsity
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
