My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
