omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
