walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You made out with two different species that night
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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