O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
