We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
