So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You smell like stripper and shame
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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