i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
