I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
