why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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