You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
