White coat. Heels.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
