YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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