Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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