he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
