my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
