walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
