i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
