Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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