I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
