Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
