I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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