I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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