Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
