I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
