I showed him my bush... on skype.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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