We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
