one two three fourrrrnication!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
