I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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