i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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