An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
