So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
