Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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