Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
