just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
