I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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