great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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