so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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