Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
