Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
