member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
