i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
